I became a mom about 2 years ago. Oh man did it hit me like a train. I read all the books that Pinterest told me would prepare me, and I even have a masters degree in early childhood education.
Third Grade Teacher and First Time Mom
I was excited to be able to use my early childhood degree with my OWN child. I KNOW how important literacy is- from even before a child is born- and I couldn’t wait to take what I was passionate about and helping my little guy become a reader. I dreamed of sitting in the floor, with my fresh new infant, reading Brown Bear Brown Bear again and again.. and again.
Then Gray was born.
In my mind, I had it all figured out. If the baby is crying, he is either tired, hungry, or needs a diaper change. Right?
Wrong.
Between trying to figure out how to pee while holding him (because if I put him down, he would scream) and trying to decide if I should eat dinner or get a few extra minutes of sleep, the thought of Brown Bear Brown Bear just made me cry (well, most things made me cry during that time).
My mom reminds me daily that i’m “paying for my raising.” And I know that she is right. Being a mom did NOT come natural to me, but in all fairness, Gray was NOT the easiest baby- even my mom agrees with me about that.
I Needed Back My Normal
Day after day, I longed for my structured schedule, and I was actually excited to return to my third grade classroom when my maternity leave was over. I counted down the days to be back- and felt all of the guilt for feeling that that way.
What kind of mom WANTS to leave her baby and go back to work? I was SO ready.
After returning, I soon realized that my passion for teaching, my ability to stay at work until 6pm creating fun third grade activities, was no longer something I could continue doing.
Teachers Shouldn’t Have to Choose
As I slowly started bonding with Gray (yes, it took me a while), each day I felt like I had to choose between being a good teacher and being a good mom. I wanted to be both.
In today’s world, it feels impossible to be both.
I recently read on another blog that “moms today are supposed to work like they don’t have kids, and parent their kids like they don’t work.”
More is expected of us in both our careers and in our world of motherhood.
And as I slowly began bonding with Gray, my love for him forced me to decide that I could no longer have such a demanding career. It was then that I decided to write my letter of resignation. I cried as I wrote it, I cried when I gave it to my boss, and I still have days that I get teary eyed about it.
But, I will never regret this time with Gray. This has been the most fulfilling stage of my life so far. And guess what? With a little growth from both myself and my tag-a-long, each day we get to read Brown Bear Brown Bear again and again… and again.
Still, each day that I am home, I find myself trying to figure out a way to incorporate teaching into my new “stay-at-home mom” life. I NEED to use my brain.
Plus, for all of you that are enneagram fanatics, my enneagram number is a 2, so naturally I try finding ways to help people. Being able to help others truly makes me feel whole, and so I knew I needed to find a way to still be able to stay home with Gray, use my college education and do something that involved helping teachers in the classroom.
Start of Something New
And that’s how this began: I decided to start a blog to help busy teachers take control of their classrooms and take BACK control of their lives.
I create resources that will save you time, and help you ENJOY what you signed up to do- TEACH!
I would love to have you follow along- if you’re a new teacher, a teacher struggling to manage it all, a veteran teacher that needs fresh ideas.. I’m here for you!
Have something specific you need help with? Let’s chat! Help me to help other mama’s and SHARE this post on your social media, subscribe to my email list below and follow me on instagram @mamawearspajamas
